Steve Serby Is An Asshat

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Mr. Thursday is not one for anonymous interweb tirades, but we’re working on 3 hours sleep and this just has a way of angering us enough to write about here.

Steve Serby is a sports columnist for the New York Post. He, to our knowledge, mostly writes about football, but we admit that we only presume this because the only other instance in which we’re familiar with him was that in 1981, Serby got jacked by Richard Todd, a QB for the New (Jersey) York Jets, after Serby wrote that Matt Robinson should start in his place. Todd didn’t care for that, and let Serby know by tossing him into a locker.

Anyway, fast-forward 25 uneventful years, and Steve Serby is writing an article called “Philled With Emotion“, about the upcoming Philadelphia Eagles – New York Giants playoff game, mostly regarding the eminent hostility between the teams and their fanbases.

Serby, like every other sportswriter in America, blames the Philly fans for the hostility in his article. Her summarizes thusly:

The venom is fueled by a fan base that has no Super Bowl champion to call its own. The proud people of Philadelphia can boast of “Rocky,” of Smokin’ Joe Frazier, of their cheesesteaks, but let’s not kid ourselves: They are afflicted with the same inferiority complex every other city in the country has with New York, and that isn’t provincial poppycock. It’s probably magnified by the proximity. Every rabid Giants fan is Steve Mara and every Eagles fan is the guy who taunted him in the workplace and paid for it.

We’d like to respond specifically to the portion of that quote we’ve bolded.

Steve Serby, you’re a fucking twat. You’re right. We, the people of Philadelphia, hate New York. But the reason isn’t some kind of little brother inferiority complex. It’s because of people like you, Steve Serby, with your pompous, “Well, of course New York City is better than everywhere else”, we-are-the-center-of-the-universe attitude.

Where is the connection, exactly, between Philadelphia’s hatred of New York City (and we assume you mean the city, and not the state, even though you neglected to put “City” into your article) and your supposed inferiority complex? Do we envy Dallas, too? Or the entire state of New Jersey? What aboue Boston? We must have a big inferiority complex for Atlanta. Now, it’s true that we don’t hate Boston, Atlanta or New Jersey as much as we hate you, but during football season our hatred of your overblown, concrete, rat-infested, shit-stain of a city doesn’t compare to our disdain for Dallas.

While it’s possible that some people in some cities feel an inferiority complex in regards to New York City, it’s not true of the overwhelming majority of the population in Philly, or any other city on Earth. Boston can’t stand you either, and it’s for the same reasons–you’re a bunch of arrogant blowhards. Washington despises you, and if you’re going to try to tell us that the capital of the United States has New York City-envy then, well, we just don’t know what to say. Your arrogance has overrun our ability to argue, if that’s what you believe. It, clearly, cannot be penetrated or reasoned with.

So, do we envy New York City? Do we relish those first few moments when we step out of Penn Station by Madison Square Garden, out onto the sidewalk, and choke on your disgusting, polluted air? Do we Philadelphians wish and hope that we, too, can pay $15 for a burger for T.G.I. Friday’s? Or that we can live in a Manhattan or Brooklyn slum with rent higher that a two-bedroom in Rittenhouse Square? That we can pay $8 for a grilled cheese? Where the best thing happening for New Year’s is a bunch of idiots standing in the middle of an interesection staring upward for 4 hours waiting for a bunch of lightbulbs to sink?

Give us a break.

Steve Serby, you and your goddamned city can go fuck each other.

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Filed under Football, Philadelphia

Tags: New York City, rant, Steve Serby