Self Help: Your Input

Hello dear readers!

This is your self help guru, if you have interesting jobs or people you wish to be lightly mocked/made fun of please drop a comment or alert Mr. Thursday. If any topics are fun, no matter how challenging, I will write a self-help guide to achieve that status/vocation/level of whatever it is you desire.

For example. Let’s go back a few months, if you’re a staunch democrat/liberal you could’ve said something like “Mr. Guru, why don’t you write a self-help on how to be vice-president?” and i would’ve included things like brainwashing cults/satan worship, optometry, gun ranges, male pattern baldness, quail identification class, cronyism, immoral retribution, lying, and all sorts of other hilarity.

For those of you with the more conservative perspective you could ask, “Mr. Guru, what steps do you have to follow to become an academy award winner?” and I list such things as: use your celebrity status to proliferate your commie views from the stage, botox, be serial monogamists with women/men either far older or far younger than you, writing speeches that thank everyone you’ve known since kindergarten or no one other than your family (but nothing in between), absurdly showcasing wealth while speaking out against America’s greed and commercialism.

Clearly, there does not have to be any sort of political bias (as hopefully indicated by the already posted articles), they can be anything, if you wanna know what it takes to be an astronaut, a clown, a cowboy, a doctor, a judge, a succesful drug dealer, anything you think would make for interesting articles, let me know. And I will consider it, mock you for coming up with such a stupid, preposterous idea, then probably write it anyway.

In the ever-so-likely event that no one responds to this, I will just continue to do what I’ve been doing, and writing on whatever comes to mind 20 minutes before the post is requested to be done.

Peace out

-the GuRu

[Editor’s note: This is only the second time we’ve had the chance to use the “Irony” tag. Can’t say how thrilled we are.  Thanks Paul!]

1 Comment

Filed under How To, Irony

One response to “Self Help: Your Input

  1. Hi Paul,

    I love your articles. Two things came to mind for your cry for ideas.

    1. Locksmith
    I was a locksmith for about 3 years and would still be one if it weren’t for the cancer. If you caould write a post about this interesting job, that would rock. And I’m not talking about the mouth breathers at Wal-Mart who take 7 tries to cut you an easy key like a Kwikset. Nope, I’m talking about real house and car opening, safe drilling, lock installing, key making, rekeying, lock fixing, impressioning, picking, combo changing, etc. locksmiths.

    2. Trekkie
    And I’m not talking about somebody who will stop channel surfing if they see Spock. I mean Klingon speaking, DVD series collecting, bat’leth wielding, Star Trek online community thread posting, Staw Wars hating, ship schematic buying, fan fiction reading, full blown Trekkie!

    If you could write on either or both of those topics, I would love it! Thanks!

    Scott the lock picking Trekkie

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