This news is a month old, but it had to come all the way from Idaho to reach the Curious Mechanism in Philadelphia, so I hope you understand the delay.
Bill Sali, a freshmen Congressman from Idaho, decided that raising the minimum wage defied “natural law” and so, to respond, he sponsored the “Obesity Reduction and Health Promotion Act”. This bill, ahem, reduces gravity. By 10 percent.
To repeat: Bill Sali is trying to abolish gravity.
Now, the man was clearly kidding. The bill was a symbol to make a point. We don’t think he’s a fool for trying to make his point in an utterly hilarious fashion. Oh no, that deserves applause. Right now the most sarcastic person in government is Dick Cheney, and he’s also scary, so it’s tougher to appreciate the humor.
We question, however, the intelligence of the point he’s trying to make. The argument seems to go like this: “People are fat, and this is a problem. How can we solve the problem? Oh, let’s repeal gravity! No, that won’t work, because it’s not physically possible. Also, people are poor. How can we solve that problem? Oh, let’s pay them more! Oh, that won’t work either, because it’s ALSO a violation of natural law.”
We don’t think, first off, that Sali understands what a natural law is. Or what economics are. Certainly, raising the minimum wage doesn’t solve all the problems of the impoverished, but we struggle to see how this will cause catastrophe, or in what way in violates nature. Also, we can’t figure out how lowering gravity will also lower body fat. Shouldn’t we raise gravity? Wouldn’t everyone have to work harder to move, so they’d burn more calories just from walking around than before?
Anyway, Bill Sali: Comedic Genius, and one of our new favorite Congressman, though we’re grateful he gets only 1/435th of the vote.